Thursday, September 13, 2012

I’m my own enemy


Salam..

Even my parents name me hasnah mean baik in arabic,

I think me not baik at all,

I always betrayed my own self,

There are few times I want to change myself into better muslim,

But I always delayed it’s because I think people with laugh at me,

But times fly

NOW I am serious about that

It’s just a matter of time

And it will be soon

Few step towards will be taken

The main reason

I LOVE MY LATE DAD,

I’m aware everything’s that I do or did he will get the shares

I might not a good daughter when he is live,

but I want to be good daughter when he not alive




and the bad hasnah always full of ego[genetic from my own dad],

I always want to change bcoz I want to do it

When people forced me,

Or when my mum, sisters or anyone advice me

I won’t listened even the facts I want do it,

I am telling myself,

I’ll do it for my own sake,

With my own willingness,

once I do it I’ll do it full hearted

and the things keep delays bcoz it not easy to change everythings

now the ego hasnah admit..

I should change step by step

Maybe consistent my prayers,

learn al-quran seriously,

change my clothes,

change my mind
       


Yes now I afraid of my own shadows and darkness again

My bad side told me it’s not easy

my good side is telling me Allah love me

that why he giving me chance all this time

he lets me working with working clan that always trying became better muslim everyday

he lets me felt bored worked in kl so I moved back to Kedah

he gave me good brain to always seeks for knowledge,

so I done lots reading regarding Islam,

But I was ego,

I know the knowledge but never want to practice

Than I remember one phrase that my friend always say

kadang-kadang ilmu dan kelebihan yg ALLAh bg kpda kita adalah bukan kelebihan tetapi ujian untuk kita, samada kita berkongsi ilmu or kelebihan kita, practice ilmu or kelebihan kita, sampai satu masa bila Allah dah mula marah dia akan tarik segala nikmat yg diberikan’

Well saying from my favourite person

And this words always bothering me

Insyallah I’ll change


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