Salam & good morning to
those might read (seems nobody read this blog as I knew)
Suddenly,
I feel to write up my new journey as a student, but I refuse to share it in my ig
or fb as I want to keep low from my friends as only those really close knew I
currently further my PhD. The main reason I want to keep low because I don’t
think I able to fulfil others people expectation.
As for
myself, when I re-think I never thought that I end up further my study until
phd in Education field specialize in English Language Teaching. Seven years
ago, when I joined TESL programme for my
undergrad, I thought that might be the end of everything. I hate TESL programme
as I don’t think it suit me, as I never classified myself as good in English
Language. But yeah, I often got good grades in school for that subject even I
never studied or revised for exam. Most of the time, I thought I just lucky.
But
fate has shown me different direction in life, things that I hate the most
actually is what I am doing for the past 10 years. Learning about the language
and teach it to other people as well.
When I
was young, I always embraced the memory of studied at Langkawi Technical School
as the best memories in my life. However, now at the age of 29, I regretted my
decision to study at that school, which I considered as the biggest mistakes in
life. Nothing wrong with the friends, but the culture of the technical school
might jeopardize my future. As I remembered, the school culture seems different
with the others government schools. Most of time, the teacher didn’t show up in class,
didn’t cover school syllabus, but as a young teenager I thought that as fun and
carefree. How stupid I am. My academic achievement rapidly decreased at the
times, but as that was my own decision to study in that school, none of my
family makes it as issues. Now, when I work as educators and read tons of
academic materials about education field; I kept asking myself why the teacher
in that school doesn’t feel guilty what they’re doing in school? Being paid
handsomely by government, but they doesn’t really fulfil their responsibility
toward students; it might seem a small issue but try to think if the teacher
taught at least 40 students, it means 40 lives had been put in the dustbin. Ironic
is it? Lazy teacher is what I currently study in my Phd, why our country always
failed in the implementation stage while on the national blueprint everything
was well written and calculated by the policy makers.
