Writing mode

Salam & good morning to those might read (seems nobody read this blog as I knew)

Suddenly, I feel to write up my new journey as a student, but I refuse to share it in my ig or fb as I want to keep low from my friends as only those really close knew I currently further my PhD. The main reason I want to keep low because I don’t think I able to fulfil others people expectation.

As for myself, when I re-think I never thought that I end up further my study until phd in Education field specialize in English Language Teaching. Seven years ago, when I joined TESL  programme for my undergrad, I thought that might be the end of everything. I hate TESL programme as I don’t think it suit me, as I never classified myself as good in English Language. But yeah, I often got good grades in school for that subject even I never studied or revised for exam. Most of the time, I thought I just lucky.

But fate has shown me different direction in life, things that I hate the most actually is what I am doing for the past 10 years. Learning about the language and teach it to other people as well.

When I was young, I always embraced the memory of studied at Langkawi Technical School as the best memories in my life. However, now at the age of 29, I regretted my decision to study at that school, which I considered as the biggest mistakes in life. Nothing wrong with the friends, but the culture of the technical school might jeopardize my future. As I remembered, the school culture seems different with the others government schools. Most of time, the teacher didn’t show up in class, didn’t cover school syllabus, but as a young teenager I thought that as fun and carefree. How stupid I am. My academic achievement rapidly decreased at the times, but as that was my own decision to study in that school, none of my family makes it as issues. Now, when I work as educators and read tons of academic materials about education field; I kept asking myself why the teacher in that school doesn’t feel guilty what they’re doing in school? Being paid handsomely by government, but they doesn’t really fulfil their responsibility toward students; it might seem a small issue but try to think if the teacher taught at least 40 students, it means 40 lives had been put in the dustbin. Ironic is it? Lazy teacher is what I currently study in my Phd, why our country always failed in the implementation stage while on the national blueprint everything was well written and calculated by the policy makers.